One of the most common complaints about men’s sexuality surrounds ejaculation; either people being concerned about premature ejaculation (which is when a man climaxes or orgasms before he would like to) and delayed ejaculation (which is when it takes a man longer to climax or orgasm than he would like to).

The thing about premature ejaculation is that it is only an issue if it is upsetting to the person who is ejaculating. There is no magic number for amount of time from beginning of stimulation to ejaculation; if it works ok for you, and your partner(s), that is all that matters. For many people, they feel like they are not “lasting long enough,” but they are actually lasting the exact right amount of time for them.

This all being said, if you are concerned about your own ejaculation and would like to increase the amount of time before you ejaculate, you have some options. Some of the heating and cooling lubricants can help to delay ejaculation. However, it is highly suggested that you try out the heating or cooling lube on your own first, as everyone will have different reactions – for some people, they might speed up ejaculation. Also, check with your partner(s) to make sure that they do not have any sensitivities to heating or cooling personal lubricants.

Also, you can check out the variety of desensitizing and delaying creams, lubes and gels. They contain numbing products like lidocaine and benzocaine that are safe for body use, but slow down the amount of sensitivity you get on your penis. As with warming and cooling lubes, test it first to gauge your reaction, and check with your partner to make sure it’s ok with them and they don’t have any allergies as well.

Another great option is using a condom if you do not normally do so. For some people, wearing a condom, especially without lube inside the tip, can decrease their sensitivity. Therefore, using a condom during sex if you haven’t before can help you to delay your ejaculation. If heating or cooling lubes work, you could combine that with using a condom as well.

Other things that can help are masturbating on your own before you meet up with your partner – this can help take the edge off, and increase the amount of time to ejaculation later on during sex with someone else. Also, you can practice delaying ejaculation during masturbation by getting close to the edge of orgasm, and then stop touching yourself. Repeat a few times until you choose to climax. Now, you’ll have a better understanding of how much sensation you can take until you ejaculate, and train yourself to back down on sensation with your partner if you are not yet ready to climax with them. You can also talk to your partner too, and see if maybe giving them more foreplay first or after play after can result in a more satisfactory sexual experience together, regardless of the amount of time until you ejaculate.